You Have To Believe

If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you most assuredly won’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad. ~ Denis Waitley

If you read my recent post about figuring out what you really really want, you may have played along with me and spent some time envisioning the detailed picture of your perfect day and life. Do you imagine yourself living that vision? Have you made a promise to make your dreams come true?

Chalkboard blackboard - black and squareIf the answer is yes, good for you! If the answer is no, there’s still time. If the answer is yes, but … well, you may have a problem, and it’s this: If you don’t truly believe you can have, do or be whatever it is you’ve decided to reach for, there’s a good chance it won’t happen.

The pros say we have to be certain; we need to have an inner conviction that we can successfully achieve our goals. 

To get what you want, you must internalize the absolute knowledge that you are equal to the task. Each and every victory is born in your heart, but it must be nurtured in your mind and supported by your thoughts every single day. The time must come when you believe unwaveringly that you can create the life you want. 

That’s a tall order, isn’t it? Especially if the people around you aren’t on board. Well, guess what? Convincing others that you’re capable of greatness is not a requirement for success. YOU are the only one who must be sure.

Enter stage left: The Law of Attraction
Thanks to Rhonda Byrne and her book The Secret, we’ve all heard about the Law of Attraction – but do you understand how it’s supposed to work? “Like attracts like.” It means we attract similar stuff to us. We each draw people, things, circumstances and conditions that “match” or are compatible with our dominant state of mind.

Huh? Okay: At its core, everything in the universe is made from pure energy. All energy vibrates at a frequency, and these frequencies differ from one entity to the next. Basically, energy is drawn to other energy that is vibrating at a similar frequency.

To apply this concept to you: The premise of the Law of Attraction is that you attract energy toward you (in the form of people, thoughts and things) that is similar to the frequency you offer, and that frequency is determined by your dominant mental attitude – your strongest, habitual thoughts.

So you draw into your life whatever you think about the most. If your underlying belief is that you can achieve your goals and dreams, you will attract people, opportunities and experiences that reinforce that belief. And the opposite is true: If, most of the time, you question your ability to get where you want to go, you will attract circumstances that reinforce this dominant belief.

Quantum physics remains a mystery
Even the brightest minds in the field say that no one truly understands quantum physics. However, Law of Attraction (LOA) advocates use this science in an attempt to explain the Law in this simple way: Our entire world is created from electrons and other small particles. Scientists performing tests on this matter have discovered that when electrons are put in motion and “observed” by a scientist, they act in a certain way, but if the electrons were put in motion and not observed by anyone, they act in an entirely different way.

LOA devotees take this to mean that the observer is able to influence the behavior of the subatomic matter simply through thought and expectation. And they expand upon that by saying it also means that observation, thought, and emotion similarly affect our larger, personal physical worlds.

However, it doesn’t really matter if you subscribe to this theory or not.

Bottom line, chronic disbelievers and unhappy people typically dwell on and blame all the people, things and circumstances they believe stand in their way. And unhappy people tend to hang out with other unhappy people, because they’re the only ones who will listen to one another. If you see the downside of everything and everyone, your mind and eye are attuned to look for the downside. It doesn’t take a quantum physician to point out that you get more of what you expect and what you project.

Think of the Law of Attraction is the great facilitator; its sole purpose is to match energy. Your habitual thoughts will draw their perfect vibratory match, every time. So there. I’m down with the “like attracts like” theory.

Umm, where the heck am I going with this? Well, even though you may be collecting positive quotes and repeating your goals five times a day and reading motivational literature, if every minute in between these positive thoughts and actions your mind turns to doubt and you question your ability to succeed, your thoughts will attract like energy in the form of people and circumstances who will question your abilities, as well.

I’m betting you’ve already seen this in action in your life, right? I don’t know about you, but I’ve witnessed myself with a really bad attitude and I know the attraction power of THAT side of me. It’s a great argument for getting clear and getting a big dose of “I’m-going-for-it-itis.”

My personal doubting voice doesn’t tell me, “I will never be able to do that …” It sounds more like a slow, deep assessment of every single obstacle that’s in my way. Same difference; it amounts to a similar outcome – an ongoing, insurmountable questioning of my ability to overcome it all and achieve success.

That’s what is holding me back.

I’ve established a trigger to repeat whenever my mind climbs the mountain of tasks that stand between me and where I want to go. From now on, I’m going shake my fist and say …


Exercise/writing prompt:
What’s holding you back? What do you believe about your ability to get what you want? In his book Illusions, Richard Bach writes, “Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours.” Have you ever caught yourself insisting you can’t do, be or have something you want? Journaling about your doubts may help you determine where you’re feeling less than equal to what you want to accomplish. Try writing about these points and see if anything gets clear for you:

  • Are you questioning yourself? If so, what is holding you back?
  • What do you really believe about your chances of getting what you want?
  • Do you still hear voices from the past telling you that you’re not smart, not fast enough, not good enough, that you won’t amount to anything? Do the voices say not to trust anyone, not to take chances, that you can’t do it, that you’ll never rise beyond where you are in life?
  • List everything you were told. Every single word.
  • NOW write what you know in your heart is really true for you.
  • Will you choose to continue to give power to those untruths?
  • What do you need to learn or acquire to increase your confidence?
  • How can you replace negative thoughts with positive triggers and move forward?

Readers, how do you subtly undermine yourself or put up roadblocks between you and your dreams? Please leave a comment and share what you do to overcome it!

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27 Responses to You Have To Believe

  1. Lucy Lit April 22, 2013 at 3:36 pm #

    I am brilliant at putting roadblocks in my way! When I start doubting myself, I either look at things I’ve stockpiled that showcase the opposite of that specific roadblock or I turn to sources who have achieved their dreams. It always picks me up & gives me the kick in the butt that I need. Great post again, Molly!

    • Molly Greene April 22, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

      Good for you, Lucy! I think we should all keep a list of our 1) most awesome moments and 2) big AND small accomplishments. You are so right, it’s a great “reinforcer.” Thanks so much for your read and comment!

  2. David April 22, 2013 at 4:15 pm #

    Great post, Molly.
    What I’ve found is that the trick with belief is it has to be felt, not just thought. And to really feel it, we may have to do some emotional healing as there will often be unconscious contradictory feeling-beliefs. Most of us got some shaming messages as children. Some of us rebelled and some took it to heart. So we carry around some old semi-conscious or unconscious programing that says “can’t” or ” not good enough”, etc. If we try to lay a new one on top, it doesn’t really engage.

    Goal lists are great but if we just stay with the idea of it, we’re not changing the feeling. Think of goals as the structure, feeling as the power to make it happen. Recently, I took a workshop that was based on Non-Violent Communication. I was surprised it could be used for addressing our own self-talk as well. Without blame and judgement, we simply consider: What are the factors and circumstances that are bothering us? What are the emotions these are triggering? What are the needs that these emotions indicate are not being met? And how can they be met? Great way to make the dynamics more conscious. The workshop also covered the biology of our responses and the differences between Freeze, Fight/Flight and Safety modes of functioning. Quite fascinating.

    Another recent takeaway is the phrase “Feeling is Believing.” So the feeling state we experience gives the experience weight or charge (power). If we don’t resolve the old belief, it will continue to arise and influence our response and ability to manage new beliefs. At the time of the experience, those feelings may have been true but may no longer be. A process like NVC helps make the feeling state more conscious and thus allows us to resolve it. Unresolved feelings are simply incomplete. Once recognized, the charge can be resolved and the belief will fall away.

    If people would like to know more, I’ve written several articles on the subject on my blog recently. With a little prep, you can make it all work.

    As an aside, one of the early popular books on this subject was Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. But did you know he found it didn’t work for everyone so spent further time researching until he came up with a 17th principle. Its much less known. It’s “Cosmic Habitforce”. Substitute Unconscious for Cosmic and you have the fix. 😉

    • Molly Greene April 22, 2013 at 4:48 pm #

      Wow, David! Such great points and way deeper than I ever could have gone. Your studies are fascinating and I agree, the “energy” behind what we believe gives the belief even more power – for the positive or the negative. I try my best not to give any evergy to my doubts, just let them pass through. Sometimes it works. I’ve read Think & Grow Rich but have never heard about “Cosmic Habitforce!”

  3. Anne R. Allen April 22, 2013 at 4:44 pm #

    I’m a great believer in the power of positive thinking, which may be easier for some people to get their minds around than the Law of Attraction, although they’re really the same thing.

    And if you can’t get the positive thinking thing, I think we all know the power of NEGATIVE thinking. How many losers do you know who wallow in negativity every day and always get more of the same?

    But I firmly believe the LoA is real. A fun illustration comes from dryer lint. If you want to get all the lint out of the screen in your dryer, the best way is to take a wad of dryer lint and rub it over the screen. Comes completely clean.

    Once I decided to be positive about my writing career (and weeded some negative people out of my life) my career took off like a rocket. It’s amazing how well it works.

    • Molly Greene April 22, 2013 at 4:53 pm #

      I love the lint illustration! I hereby resolve to attract and be “good” lint only. THANKS, Anne!

  4. Laura Zera April 22, 2013 at 10:21 pm #

    I don’t consider myself particularly New Age or woo-woo or whatever, but I’m with you in that I totally notice a difference in what comes into my life based on how I’m thinking about the potential opportunities. I was also invited to join a Mastermind group a couple of years ago, and together with three other women, we discuss what we want, what we’re doing to attract it and what our challenges are. I leave those meetings feeling so energized and like I could tackle anything, and it sets me up to be in a good mind space for weeks. Also, I just tried hypnotherapy for the first time today, to clear some of the old crap out. Again, I felt fantastic when I left the session. Like a whole different person, really. Things that I asked to clear immediately stopped bothering me after the session. I’m intrigued even more now about what can happen when we access our sub-conscious.

    • Molly Greene April 23, 2013 at 4:58 pm #

      Laura, if I were lucky enough to be in a Mastermind group with you my life would be EVEN BETTER than it is right now. And bravo to you for trying new things!

      • Laura Zera April 23, 2013 at 10:10 pm #

        Molly, if we were in a Mastermind group together, we could make some serious stuff happen! xo

  5. Maranna April 23, 2013 at 3:02 am #

    This is something I keep reminding my husband of. If you decide something aint gonna work, bet your bottom dollar it won’t. I determinedly begin my day with gratitude. You might hate your aging carpet and want brand new solid wood floors, you might prefer to live in a more classy suburb but hey, some people don;t have anywhere to call home. Everything is relative, and most of us should be more appreciative than we tend to be.

    At the end of each day if we really stop and take stock, and practice some determination, magical things can and do happen.

    • Molly Greene April 23, 2013 at 5:00 pm #

      Maranna, I start the day with gratitude for my wonderful, comfortable bed – and that I have one. And I need to think even ore about magical things – thanks for reminding me!

  6. Shirley Ford April 23, 2013 at 5:12 am #

    I have been a great believer in the Law of Attraction for several years. In fact ‘The Secret’ is sitting on the shelf in front of me. I know it works, but like you, doubt creeps in, so instead of attracting what I want, I attract all the negativity of my doubts. I always benefit from a ‘fix’ of a like minded person, and I have a very good friend who always makes me more positive if I have spent time in her company.

    • Molly Greene April 23, 2013 at 5:01 pm #

      Shirley, what the heck would we do without our fabulous, positive friends who make us laugh? You’re a lucky woman.

  7. Jolyse Barnett April 23, 2013 at 6:01 am #

    Wonderful and timely post, Molly! I’ve been held back in my writing by waiting to be perfect. Funny, right? I’m learning to let go and take risks. I may make mistakes along the way, but at least I’ll be moving forward rather than paralyzed by fear.

    I’m a huge believer in “you are who you hang with.” I believe that epitomizes the LOA theory as well.

    Congrats on your blogging success and two books, Molly! Thrilled for you! 🙂

    • Molly Greene April 23, 2013 at 5:03 pm #

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment Jolyse! Yes, I agree that we “are who we hang with” – even online. And I let go of perfect SO LONG AGO I can’t remember how it felt to need to be that way. As a result, I can honestly tell you life is better. YAY!

  8. cindy April 24, 2013 at 10:50 am #

    Molly, I do believe we create our own reality. For some reason I was born thinking postive thoughts. I was stunned when Elvis married Prisilla because I was sure he’d wait for me! I always believed I’d publish books, and I have. Not saying I’m positive all the time. Everyone has doubts creep in, and when you have big dreams, sometimes failure is in the equation. I have heard a lot of No. But I still say Yes, and you are someone who understands that. Great post!

  9. Toby Neal April 25, 2013 at 1:16 pm #

    Great Post Molly. I am living these principles myself and seeing amazing things come to pass. I’m a Christian too, and the Bible says it this way: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” FOr me, I have to keep “acting as if” and taking steps forward AS IF the money’s there, the movie deal’s there, the abundance is there… to have it form beneath my feet.
    “Wake up every day expecting something wonderful” and I do, and it does! Even days like today, when I injured my back and had to cancel everythign, becomes a good day because I can write and catch up on my friend’s blogs!
    Appreciate the journey we are on together, and sharing it.
    Blessings to you as we both attract joy, love, friendship and abundance into our lives!
    Toby Neal

    • Molly Greene April 26, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Toby. To me, “acting as if” is the key, especially when I’m not feeling so upbeat. And appreciating the journey is something I remind myself to do all the time. Hope your back feels better soon!

  10. ChemistKen April 26, 2013 at 10:29 am #

    Sometimes I can answer YES, that I will be a successful writer. But there are other times when I’m not all that sure. I just have to make a promise to myself that I’ll never give up, no matter how I feel that day. Nice post!

    BTW, I nominated you for a Liebster Blog award. Go here if you want to learn about it.

  11. John April 28, 2013 at 9:41 am #

    Hello, great concise telling of the secret. It is amazing that we must believe (and we must) that we can see ourselves over the mountain. Who put that mountain there anyway, some are real, made of real dirt and hard to climb. So it is, to me, that we are born into a bumpy future that was here before we were. I didn’t think up the real mountains. I did create some of my own though. Who would cross a swamp without listening, or looking, or smelling? Why would you attempt such a crossing without first believing you could do it?
    We shouldn’t believe we will have resource to do something, we should believe that we are worthy to have it and resource will find us to fulfill it. We were not created to cower in valleys, but to climb mountains. so pick one out, believe it is yours to conquer and climb, climb, climb.
    Love your blog. Well done Molly. (nice comments too)

    • Molly Greene April 28, 2013 at 4:39 pm #

      John, thank you so, so much for this! The only mountain we really have to climb is the one we build out of a molehill, am I right??

  12. Staci May 25, 2013 at 7:09 pm #

    Thanks for reminding us about the law of attraction. I read Rhoda Byrne’s book several years ago, applied the reality to my life, and watched amazing things unfold. Since then, my awareness of “like attracts like” has faded. Just today, I found myself recalling the book and thinking I should give it another read. Lo and behold, I find your post about that very thing. Speaking of like attracts like…

  13. Debby Gies September 12, 2013 at 5:52 pm #

    Great post (as usual) Molly! So funny, I live by tha laws of attraction. Sad for those who don’t understand it or believe it, because it is a fact and things are going to happen anyway, whether or not they believe. Everything happens for a reason. And I know when I ask, I eventually receive as long as I hold my intent. May as well focus on the good things because what we focus on we bring!

    • Molly Greene September 12, 2013 at 5:58 pm #

      Hey Debby! I believe and I try my best, but must admit some days it’s a challenge to apply it. Even so, I know that what I focus on I bring more of raining down on my head! Good or bad 🙂

      • Debby Gies September 12, 2013 at 6:23 pm #

        Lol! We all have those days Molly with plenty on our plates. It really becomes an art to avert our negative thoughts and see the good in everything, keep on practicing!

        • Molly Greene September 14, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

          I will try – and to give myself a pet talk, I wrote another post about it for Monday!

  14. Debby Gies September 15, 2013 at 2:48 pm #

    Well, I will look forward to it as always 🙂